I Guess I'm Not That Crazy After All!

There have been times lately where I actually have doubted my sanity. Really. That's what you get when you compare others to yourself!

For years I have been dreading the 'EMPTY NEST', I think I've even heard it referred to as a syndrome... but either way, I have it! Not because I'm afraid of what I'll find when I find myself, but rather what the heck do I do with what I am??

I have always loved my children, from the baby stage until the leave the nest stage, my favorite being the toddler-tween. I have taught Sunday School to 4-5 year olds and 9th-10th high school. And everytime I share that I love children and want more of them, people look at me as if I am totally insane! They wonder what is wrong with me to want to torture myself again. These are the people that have 2 children and were happy with that, me...I want more than 3! Are you crazy??

So, I doubted myself. Why do I think like this? Is there something wrong with me? Why do I need to have more children? Am I not happy with who I am? And there were more questions than that...

I have a couple of friend, in fact they posted words of encouragement to me on my blog, but they are in the minority. The majority of friends, family and acquaintances think I'm not quite right. So...I wrote and asked my new found friends at Reece's Rainbow. I could not believe what a response I received! There were about 20 responses from women who are 30+ years young and every one of them feel the same way! I couldn't believe my eyes. And it felt good to finally feel like I might be normal, or at least not the only insane person around. :) I think I am going to print each of those notes out and post them around my house in frames so everywhere I look I will be encouraged.

In the past couple of weeks, complete strangers that I happen to chat with about the future adoption plans have said they admire me. I don't feel like I should be admired, that is something that people do to really important people, I just want to be me and seen as a mom...even if I'm in my 40's. I really do love children and I really can't wait to go get my girls! :)